DISQUS

Sarah Robinson · 1 year ago

Wow Alexis. This post really struck home for me. First because it was in third grade that I started experiencing the "exclusion" and the conditioning of "what had I done wrong" caused endless stress for me. What a gift you are to your daughter. Second, because my son was "excluded" from a party on Saturday. He did not give it a thought and, I am proud to say, I wondered what was wrong with THEM for not inviting my fabulous son (I AM a mom after all:)!) Third, there are some girls who grow up to be women who still think it is fun to exclude other women just because they can. Your "unconditioning" is so helpful to the little girl in all of us who can get our feelings hurt when that happens in life and in business. Thank you for that beautiful reminder.

Sarah Robinson
www.themaverickmom.com

Ann Vertel · 1 year ago

Hi Alexis,
Great post! My daughter and I are reading "Queen Bees and Wannabees" together (the book Mean Girls was based on). When she told me she was being bullied in school I asked her how she was handling that. She said, "Oh, I just get over it 'cause I've got a life to live." I couldn't have been more proud or more impressed. Thanks for the reminder for ME today!
Warm regards,
Ann Vertel

Julie Pippert · 1 year ago

My daughter plays daily with a neighborhood child & they do have an...ahem...volatile (?) dynamic. When it came to birthday party time, she could only invite 7 children (all I could afford) and this girl wasn't one. I told her I would respect that, but she could NOT use it as a "rub it in" thing and had to be "humble" about party and not brag on it, especially in front of others, especially ones not invited. I am "conditioned" mightily and have felt pressure where we live now b/c it is a VERY "conditioned" community (thanks for giving me the language!) so husband and I have felt very troubled about not including this child. But we have kept quiet and respected daughter's choice, now I fear we've made her feel bad about it.

She plays with and is "friends" with this child by situation not by choice but often ends up troubled by interactions with the other child.

Nothing wrong with either child---just the dynamic.

So I want to respect and reinforce this idea that it's okay to choose to be with those you prefer---and she made good choices.

What do you advise? I'm torn.

Thanks for this great post!

R Martin · 1 year ago

My darling daughter-
What fabulous advice for one of the loves of my life....
I grew up thinking that it always mattered what people thought....I'm so proud that Kaia is learning this lesson now instead of much, much later

I keep trying to teach it to Nan.....

May you all always be true to yourself and it's a wonderful thing NOT to be like everyone else!
I love you all
Mom

Sarah Auerswald · 1 year ago

I like this. It's great to remember there are alternatives to the way I've always thought about something.