Life, Business & the Pursuit of Truth - Latest Comments in The Antidote to Mean Girls

Re: The Antidote to Mean Girls

Alexis Neely — Fri, 04 Mar 2011 09:57:32 -0000

Julie I wonder what has come of this now, 2 years later. I have found that my daughter has a volatile relationship with a girl in our new neighborhood and she has chosen not to spend time with her - I honor this decision. I did have to have a talk w/ the gals mom about it and share that the girls are just not a match and that's okay. What has transpired for you?

Re: The Antidote to Mean Girls

Alexis Neely — Fri, 04 Mar 2011 09:55:54 -0000

Ann, thank you for resurfacing this post. You are right, it's a goodie and it was perfect for me to re-read it right now. Love.

Re: The Antidote to Mean Girls

Alexis Neely — Fri, 04 Mar 2011 09:55:23 -0000

Thanks to Ann Vertel's re-surfacing of this post, I just saw this comment Sarah - 2 years later! Thank you for sharing this. These last two years for me have had me living this lesson again and again as I've stepped more into the truth of who I am, which has taken me farther and farther outside of the mainstream paradigm. It's been quite the journey of "unconditioning" that's for sure. Love.

Re: The Antidote to Mean Girls

Sarah Auerswald — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 00:11:43 -0000

I like this. It's great to remember there are alternatives to the way I've always thought about something.

Re: The Antidote to Mean Girls

R Martin — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 21:45:08 -0000

My darling daughter-
What fabulous advice for one of the loves of my life....
I grew up thinking that it always mattered what people thought....I'm so proud that Kaia is learning this lesson now instead of much, much later

I keep trying to teach it to Nan.....

May you all always be true to yourself and it's a wonderful thing NOT to be like everyone else!
I love you all
Mom

Re: The Antidote to Mean Girls

Julie Pippert — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 15:01:09 -0000

My daughter plays daily with a neighborhood child & they do have an...ahem...volatile (?) dynamic. When it came to birthday party time, she could only invite 7 children (all I could afford) and this girl wasn't one. I told her I would respect that, but she could NOT use it as a "rub it in" thing and had to be "humble" about party and not brag on it, especially in front of others, especially ones not invited. I am "conditioned" mightily and have felt pressure where we live now b/c it is a VERY "conditioned" community (thanks for giving me the language!) so husband and I have felt very troubled about not including this child. But we have kept quiet and respected daughter's choice, now I fear we've made her feel bad about it.

She plays with and is "friends" with this child by situation not by choice but often ends up troubled by interactions with the other child.

Nothing wrong with either child---just the dynamic.

So I want to respect and reinforce this idea that it's okay to choose to be with those you prefer---and she made good choices.

What do you advise? I'm torn.

Thanks for this great post!

Re: The Antidote to Mean Girls

Ann Vertel — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 08:53:10 -0000

Hi Alexis,
Great post! My daughter and I are reading "Queen Bees and Wannabees" together (the book Mean Girls was based on). When she told me she was being bullied in school I asked her how she was handling that. She said, "Oh, I just get over it 'cause I've got a life to live." I couldn't have been more proud or more impressed. Thanks for the reminder for ME today!
Warm regards,
Ann Vertel

Re: The Antidote to Mean Girls

Sarah Robinson — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 06:59:17 -0000

Wow Alexis. This post really struck home for me. First because it was in third grade that I started experiencing the "exclusion" and the conditioning of "what had I done wrong" caused endless stress for me. What a gift you are to your daughter. Second, because my son was "excluded" from a party on Saturday. He did not give it a thought and, I am proud to say, I wondered what was wrong with THEM for not inviting my fabulous son (I AM a mom after all:)!) Third, there are some girls who grow up to be women who still think it is fun to exclude other women just because they can. Your "unconditioning" is so helpful to the little girl in all of us who can get our feelings hurt when that happens in life and in business. Thank you for that beautiful reminder.

Sarah Robinson
www.themaverickmom.com